Anxiety

Trying to go to class. Dragging a pencil across paper. The minutes tick by in an agonizing haze. People are looking at me. People are following me. They want to hurt me. They want to touch me, I can feel them, disgusting, slimy hands drag across my back. I sit down and shake, feeling alone, feeling so little trust in a world that felt so safe a day ago. I want to go home. I have no home. I give in and cry. The pressure leaking from my eyes. The emotion welling up and spilling over.

You blindly stand on the edge of a diving board willing yourself to jump. Not knowing what’s at the bottom or how far the fall is.

I just want to sleep, to get out of my own head, to slip into a dream for awhile. Even a nightmare would be more comforting than this day has been.

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