I can’t sleep.

My brain jumps around. Creating scenarios that will never happen. Words, phrases, interjections. I have conversations with people in my head, but they all go wrong, and I start to wonder if the people in my head are really mad at me, and if their thoughts are being communicated to me telepathically. Am I intruding on their thoughts, they probably don’t know I can do this. Interjections, words I don’t understand, words in different languages, words on repeat being shouted, I feel like there’s a broken reccord in my head. I have a headache. I’m exhausted but I can’t sleep.

So, it comes the time to say goodbye to 18. What a crazy, wonderful, painful, heart wrenching, beautiful, and cherished year it has been. I have learned so many things. I have said goodbye to some old friends and greeted new ones. I have begun the journey of recovery. I lost a lot, but gained so much more. I have begun to follow my heart and do what feels right. I am so grateful for those who stand by my side as I step into another year of my life.