When will it stop? When will I be able to just say no? My drug of choice is pouring my heart out into a toilet bowl, drowning the stress of my day along with other people’s shit. Why can’t I have a caffeine addiction like everyone else. The only thing I would need to hide would be my shaking hands. Not the stench of bile, my racing heart, the cold sweat, the shaking, the pounding of my head. Why do I need such a repulsive habit to get me through the day?

I am repulsed that I have lost seven years to this disease.

 

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