Winter Break: I am exhausted. My “vacation” has left me physically and mentally drained. I am depressed, confused, and disappointed. I want to go back to school more than anything, but the first week will be difficult – hearing everyone talk about break, being asked how mine was. I’ll lie (of course) “it was pretty good, I worked, spent time with family”. I leave in five days. Five days too many. Five days too few. I’m almost in a state of shock, being thrown into old stuff, having to cope, then thrown back into my my new life. It’s chaotic. Worst of all though is the feeling that I didn’t get a break. I’m working when I’m here. My guard is always up. I am constantly processing and reliving and coping. I can’t even begin to think about summer break, it scares me. But at least i’ll be able to go back knowing that I did the best that I could and I made it through – a little shaken up but alive.