Hot Headed

I’m mad at myself, but it’s easier to take it out on the world. So I’m giving everyone the silent treatment. I’m just going to climb inside my head and seethe.

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Swallowed

I am falling. Falling into a black hole. This disorder is consuming me.

My grades are suffering. I’ve resorted to behaviors again. And to top it all off my childhood dog passed away last night. All I want to do is climb. Climb and read books.

School has taken a back seat in my life.

I feel so out of it. Just numb. I don’t care anymore. I’ve fought for the past month and now I’m tired and I need to rest.

This morning I woke up and put my laundry in. At least I won’t be wallowing in my own filth. At least I know that I can do one thing right.

I don’t have the right words to describe how I feel right now. This disease is taking over my ┬ábrain and poisoning the scrap of logic I had left.

 

I hate it when people forget about me. Having a schedule keeps my life moving forward. When someone forgets I lose momentum. I think I rely too much on people. I’m just too fucking depressed for a friday.

I’m Sinking

I’m sinking into a depression.

Nobody is there to throw me a lifesaver. Nobody knows I’m drowning.

I can’t work. I can’t move. I can’t cry.

I’m trying to tread water, but the longer I do it the harder it gets. I’m tired. I want to give up. But I know that if I stop swimming I’ll sink, and if I do this time I might not resurface.