I’m spinning. The world is blurring. I’m falling back into the disease that tried to kill me a year ago. Now all I can do is wait for insurance to give me the go-ahead. It could be tomorrow or the next day or never. I guess all we can do is hope for the best. I just want to be kept safe from the bulimia. I can’t do it alone anymore. So I bear myself on the cross of lies I have told and wait.